Love is, Love Ain't

What Are You Encouraging?

Posted on: January 17, 2011

I have really been working hard to establish standards that are clear.  I haven’t met anyone new that I have had to establish standards with, but new boo still shows strong interest, and I have had to continually uphold those standards I have set with him.  I have listened to stories of other friends dating and been scolded continuously by my close friend because I’m not working hard to find (or keep) a man, and I began to question if I really knew how to compromise.  My ex likes to say I don’t know how to compromise, but I guess it all depends on who you are asking.

So I have been working on listening to the greater influence within me, and as I asked, “Do I know how to compromise?” I received almost an immediate answer.  A pretty important man in college football these days said, “Accept and tolerate only that which you want to encourage.”  This is some of the best advice I have received in a while, and I knew that it would be invaluable across the board in my relationships.  So I just had to share this on the blog.  Remember:  Accept and tolerate only that which you want to encourage.

4 Responses to "What Are You Encouraging?"

“Accept and tolerate only that which you want to encourage.”

Excellent advice and I couldn’t agree more!

I also like your question: “Do I know how to compromise?”

But I would take it one step further and ask Self:

“Do I know how to compromise? And am I truly WILLING to do so when appropriate?”

Yes! I love the “And am I truly WILLING to do so when appropriate?” That’s what I’m reflecting on now!

I think this is great advice, and I think that sometimes we forget that we are fully responsible for the way we interact with others, and in the end what some of those outcomes are. We cannot complain about certain behaviors if we tolerate them and setting boundaries is a good way to make sure that you are comfortable with what is going on. If folks don’t like them, “the road ain’t crowded.”

You’re so right! I often hear myself complaining and then forget to hold myself responsible! He wouldn’t do certain things if I didn’t accept and tolerate them!

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